What if your soul is not genuine to you?

What if your soul is not genuine to you?

Does being genuine have a big role in your life? I am a person who can't compromise being genuine on the outside as well. I may be a negative person, I may be pessimistic, I may be shy, I may be introverted, I may make a blunder, but I regret when I act opposite to what I genuinely feel. 

I dream of a transparent passage from my inner soul to outside.

Whom should I impress outside rather than myself? I had obstacles to come out as myself, I cried for that resistance to move out of me. I love the dirty picture of me than the filtered one.

I love a few, the few to whom that love becomes intolerable sometimes.

I am not weird, I'm normal but I breathe little weirdness.

How old is your mind?

"This is the perfect age to do it."

What is that age?

Congratulations, the earth just completed another spin around the sun!
Physically you may be developing, but how can you compromise on your mind's age?

Infant, young, and old.
Three phases of generation, but the distinction of mind by age, is a societal norm. You are free enough to choose your "mental age" and keep it where you want.

I am a 23-year-old kid; I thought I missed my valuable time of life or that step entering into adulthood or grown-up stage. But there is a face behind the myth:your-mind-could-choose-happiness. It's not as easy as the saying; it requires our robust and determined attitude.

Physical health and mental health are well interconnected, so it's mandatory to nourish them equally, like pouring water to nurture a plant. From personal experience, I've had that adequate sleep, short walks, water bottles, and fresh air that could bring you to the age you want. It doesn't matter if you're going to be the age of 5 or 60. Disregard the unnecessary weeds growing with us, the perfect age, and the dreadful thought of what will happen after this age.

I am still that school kid who used to learn from her mistakes, and what about you?

If you are eight years old and want to know more about sex education, I say you should study it. 25-year-old men or women want to play together in a park or wanna check that old seesaw balance, what are you waiting for? Have you ever thought of having a play park for the 20+ gang? I am 70 years old, and I want to dance with the rhythm of waves and music; I will be at Kozhikode beach because that beach could emotionally support more than anyone.

Be with like-minded people or tribes, not with the group of who loves getting old.

Now tell me how old your mind is?

P.S I would like to dedicate this to my grandma, who is not with me today. She was a smart lady, even in her 70s, and a great source of inspiration.

A cliche but stick on your niche!

I might have chanted to myself a thousand times, 'live as what you are, do what you love,
You only live once', and I think this might be the same for you too. Do you think it is easy to acquire what you are dreaming of?

To an extent, the universe conspiracy works out.

It's only a probability.
I dream and keep dreaming, day and night but what if I am dreaming from my most comfortable cushion and doing nothing other than that?

So it's better to draw a diagram to know what my inner soul is really craving that would exactly lead me to what I really want. I am setting my goals, stepping up very slowly and the self-assessment is great. A relaxed conversation with the diary.

What if I am compelled to read something I really don't want to read? I am not doing what I really want to do because I can be lazy. So I take time, take enough time. I might have to take years to complete. If I am reading a single line a day, I exist. I am delighted too.

But ever since this realisation, I'm dreaming, travelling, writing, planning things, be it big or small and making a list which probably would be endless. I am a beautiful creature on earth and I should have no regrets of how I could've lived better but failed to try for it. I can listen to the chirping of birds, a window near to my table so I can have enough daylight and the full moon too.

I often strive hard to make myself to immediately act on it if I have big dreams otherwise to do little things to make my heart comfortable. It doesn't matter if you are not living as what you are or you are not doing what you love or you are exactly chasing to be what you are.

Get into your niche, often enjoy the serenity.
Pamper your heart.

Love the hobbies, not the goals.
(What do you prefer hobby or goal?)

The Burger Kid

The city is unknown, the footpaths seem like there is a way for me, there is a soulmate waiting on the hallway of the sky bridge. When I saw you first, I never thought you were going to steal my heart. You slowly crept into my stomach then to my heart. I am not joking people, the dude is terribly beautiful because he heals me like anything. A realm in between two buns created just for me. What awe to see when something roasted in between toasted buns. Wherever I see you, I feel like you are my dearest friend. As long as you never excuse to go now and come another time. You make me drool but if my pocket is empty I'd fake a smile and let you go (like I'm happy without you). Why can't you be mine without a single penny? I  roam to find many like you but they don't bring the pleasure you give me. I have curiously analyzed the illustration of how and what you are made up of but you told me to eat and vacate. And I do repeat the same. Often I gaze at you like are you, a mysterious hooligan? A single bite always softens me to that of a tot. I feel like I am eating my illusions, each layer of you appear magically and I keep going on exploring. But I'm never desperate since I know you're always going to be there for me(tummy restored). Sometimes a craving for you is beautiful as like innocent aura that a child possesses.

How can a lazy cook and hardworking eater make the dream true? It may be simple for you but finally, I toasted the flavour of my own. I could feel the eternity of bliss.

P.S It's not completely my own recipe, I have sought the help of Santha, Aysha's Maa n some burger tutorials too. 

(Sorry lettuce leaf you were not available for me this time.)

A piece of memory .

Do you have any precious recollections to share? I can't stop myself from sharing with you the wonderful days of the magazine work and it's more than a magazine, it's a story of how a family welcomed a newborn.

A beautiful period of my entire life. Heavenly remarkable days indeed, it was! The days that made me feel stronger than the Incredible Hulk. The whole love, the whole credit, the whole appreciation goes to those pillars who stood on the right, left, front and back of me.

It's been three years but still, Djinn is still afresh in my memories. A magazine team with trillions of stories but how much of the retellings are printed yet is doubtful. Most of our stories have been heard by the stone benches of the college and above all in most of our unwritten inklings too (Lol). Since the first day of our TEAM, we had opinions, we had controversial talks, we had entirely different views, we had blank moments and the list probably went endless. Aye, it wasn't an easy task, I should know the way and will. I should know exactly what the next step is. Those thoughts rushed through my mind.
They were the busiest days of life as well, magazine work and Union activities, but undoubtedly I did enjoy everything.

The whole universe paused for a moment then. I haven't been able to digest what exactly happened to me. My love, my everything, Maa departed and my words failed to comprehend the reality of my feelings. Those magazine days, sometimes it seemed hard, painful, empty but I survived. The completion works got delayed. I don't know how many of you know the value of friends but I have really sensed it. We were totally bewildered at where we had halted the works, so we started to regain speed gradually completing each and every piece of the magazine. I went to bed with a single dream of holding it tightly when it gets published. Day and night, we were busy coming to an empty college ( during summer vacations) and hurriedly heading to the printing press and this process was on a loop. What if Aparna ma'am wasn't there with her power-packed energy that pumped to me daily? What if I never knew about Krishna's existence? Who else makes a more creative Publication Day than Aleena? What if the ATM machine didn't work properly from the stage and that was Unnimaya inside the machine who was there throughout the journey like anything. And also I would like to mention that when the magazine came out from the ATM and was opened, it seemed like I got a baby in my hands, a baby that belonged to all of us(08/08/2017). How would I be without the support system of Celsha and Athulya? What if I never asked valuable comments from Sruthi? Who else would roam around with me through literature/film festivals other than Debthara? And the relaxing comfy cushion and ambience of Room no 24. When the whole story painted (by Abhirami) in a single cover page come out, I felt like I was on the seventh heaven. Still, I remember a lot of people, place, incidents to speak on, but then if I start documenting them all then this wouldn't see an end lol. But with everlasting gratitude, I remember their efforts.

Volume 63 was made with a lot of  'Mohabbat' and a little magic - The Digital Djinn. This 2020, the digital world is your dwelling and what are you waiting for? Free your inner djinn. Be courageous like Aladdin (smokes up in the background, I can feel it.)

The three years of love and happiness.

The Liberation of thoughts

The boisterous kid is cycling to the peak, exactly like I'm hustling my way up a fogged mountain. I ask myself whether I am alright but it's flawlessly moving ( I can't even breathe properly). In fact, I see myself now, 4 am is my favourite since I dislike sleeping for hours. My untied hair against the wind feels the snowy touch into the scalp. Do I want to see that sunrise or the sunbow from the hustle and bustle of clouds? I know I am falling into the pit from the highland, I love free-falling that takes the mind far away from the physique. I often do, I enjoy it. A fall from the hill and I am hanging on birches and suddenly to the faded fronds. I lie down there for long and give a smile to some exotic fruits. However, the charismatic glance of the timber persuades me to sit beneath him.  The suave dude is a therapist. So he is pleased with my lyrics for woods.

Long ago, I remember those days where we used to indulge in the sunken cities. The romantic nights in abandoned ships, the top right corner and us.

A mild sound of waves like jazz tugs our hearts to fall in love and cute little sagas moved like anything. The long beautiful nights I have spent in the corals. I was swamped by the glories, I have travelled to the leeway. As much as you were broad without reluctance, you had me there.  I went without route maps but believed that I could have a glimpse of the Mayan pyramid and the great Roman city. In search of you, to realize that you are not a myth, it has ceased my nap.

The liberation of my soul continues likened to journeying with an eagle. I may bounce to the heated desert for a camel ride. I can compose never-ending chords that could come alive in a piece of my dream, a piece of my destiny, a piece of my strength and most of what I am.

Thoughts are free and connected.

| Painting credits: Jasna Femin |

The celebrity of the era.

I came across a discussion with a few people about the common notions/perspectives of criticism.

All uttered in the same voice "Can't digest at all, huh? "It is quite natural to get criticized during different phases of your life. Sure, you are also a critic, one way or another. I don't believe criticizing is bad but it might bring down some category of people and give more energy to another.

In all honesty, a person should handle criticism in a healthy way. The first and foremost thing that we have to realize is that one may hold a phenomenal belief and the analyst might be someone who is never going to the approach things smoothly since people are entirely different. It might be a piece of art, fashion, lifestyle, writing, opinions, presentation, foods, movies, lyrics, paintings, career and so on, but the thing is, criticism is a necessary need for your growth. So why can't a critic do it in a cool way?

Often I get uncomfortable or have felt so helpless before some people like they will be criticizing each and everything. And they emphasize that it's their personal view unapologetically and they are not ready to accept any criticism back at all. Indeed, it seems like swimming in a barren land.

My favourite part of the whole criticism conversation these days is that there are some very relevant (according to me) critics doing it in a sarcastic way (mainly against the unwanted norms of our society) and such critics actually giving extra power to the society. A choice to the voiceless. They are not pitching in any individuality but I believe it is the only way they could convey to the society that some norms are fully unnecessary.

Criticism is your freedom. Being a critic isn't a simple choice. Indeed people need constructive criticism for their growth (positive intake) and a large group take it (the criticism)is part of their trait. You and I may have difficulties to accept criticism and we jump into it and tag them as"stupid judgements".Choose what you want and stay calm so that you can realize and respect what the other person was trying to convey.

If followed passionately, it doesn't matter however small or big an art is, even the way you live is an art. However, it doesn't mean you are supposed to perform that make your art valueless.

So what are your opinions on some people performing to get criticised and seemingly abasing art and eventually getting a fame tag for the same?

|Picture courtesy: the canonist.|

the writing matters !

When I was a kid I was so excited to write down my daily routines, emotions, observings all in a book or paper as it healed me like someone is growing with me. I have been nurturing my feelings through words since I started to love writing (neither a fairy tale nor I am a writer). However, I don't think it's my diary but I feel that every time  I picture myself with it. And when I carry the desired one, I believe to be in an ethereal path of mine (Lol, cloud nine).

    I often thought of sharing my ideas with one or two or with any social platforms and rarely did because I was so feard of handling criticism on my writings which I loved like anything. By the time I realized, after all, it's my views, my creatives, my opinions and some writings should be shared with others. To all those who are still inside your blanket with your tales, those who are hiding inside books, those who tear it after writing, those who keep middle of your casket(in fact some stories are just to feed your own soul) and finally those who reluctant to complete one paragraph; trust me at least there will be one reader for you ( every writing differs) and those criticisms will make you stronger too. Just remind yourself that if you don't do so, no one else will express you, the writing matters.